20
Jan
we are going to redlands soon. i used to be so excited to go but all i want to do is stay home with my child. how can i leave him? how do people do that? they whine about needing a getaway from their kids. not to be judgemental but what is wrong with you? you are doing something wrong. if you can’t enjoy your time with your kids you screwed up something. i’m afraid i’m going to ruin the whole trip by just wanting to be back with brenden. poor neil. i was so excited to be going to tithemi and stuff but it’s like if brenny can’t come and get prayed over and loved on and see the worship and stuff, i don’t know, he’s part of my family and i want him there. plus if i get blown up on the airplane i’m going to be pissed. obviously i think i’m not but i want him raised to love Jesus and i want a hand in that! i want to protect him and make sure no one ever hurts his feelings and make sure he eats healthy food and smiles every day. no one will ever love him as much as neil and i do. i’ve been thinking about it a lot, for a long time, if we died who would we ask to raise him. bernard and vanessa, and two couples who i won’t say have been my answer, but probably neil’s parents. brenden gideon please grow up to love the Lord! i feel confident that he will because jackie and i got the same vision of him, who he’s going to be, and it was like before i even really knew jackie, so, that’s about as exciting as life gets, getting the relief that your kid is going to wind up in the right place eternally. gosh and maybe sooner than i think. with all this famine and war and earthquake stuff i’m starting to feel like we are one of the last generations! that’s why i felt that eric g. and thommy g.’s wives were pregnant with boys, our sons will be in the ‘army of the chosen one’. rob and millie too maybe. as far as having a boy. i am sure they will have a saved child! i hope my family makes it. i love my Dad. i am rambling so much because noone reads this. oh maybe cory doom does? eee. cory we will drive to wherever you are to see you! i’ll get ahold of you, we want to hang out! even if you only have a lil bit of time.
i guess we will have fun in CA. be young, have fun, drink pepsi. the wedding should be awesome, i die laughing when those sg boys dance so i can’t wait for the reception, and i can’t wait to hang out with the gregsons and geoff and candice! candice is my new favorite person. she and joey cupcake need to be my neighbors! i just don’t want to leave my child. brenden if mommy gets blown up know that she loved you more than anyone and anything.
also, not to brag but it looks like the church that loyal & mollie thurman is starting up, which we will be a part of and help them, is going to have matt from the ember days as a worship pastor/leader. oh snap! dropped that name like it was hot.
okay, i’m going to california. to do: cucas, see doom, market night, savior’s place, tithemi, harass geoff about meshuggah, and buy brenden a million souveniers. i love him. :)
